Oh where to start.... My mind is exploding there is so much going on. Just when you think the day is going to go good cabomb! Mom came home yesterday with a good saying. When something goes wrong in the family the first thing you think of is to put on your cape and save the day but really you need to burn the cape. You cannot change anything when people don't want it to change. Therefore the brother that cheated of his 9 month pregnant girlfriend is not going to get back together with her. Neither is the stubborn father that refuses change and will not leave his friends going to go to another camp to work all weekend long. So burn the cape you cant help them. Focus on myself and my daughter I keep saying. So that how i start out the day. Focus on myself by finding new fun ways to get back in shape after pregnancy. Then I move on. Spend more time with my daughter. Watch her smile and talk and sing. I am really liking this stage.
I am really trying to hold it together lately but holy crap when am I going to get a break? I planned on getting married on March 3rd. Our 5 yr anniversary. I wanted a small wedding. Next thing i know we are meeting a minister in a church that costs $600 and booking halls, food, and picking out material. Ya love mom for offering to sew all the dresses but then I realize. Number one this is my boyfriends wedding too and number two this is not what I want.
I want a small wedding. Someone to marry us that makes us laugh not nervous. I want to be in an enviroment that is comfortable and in a dress that I think I look beautiful in. So time to turn things around. I get the comfortable place, person to marry us, and most likely could have a comfy dress. Whats the problem? Family. March 3rd doesnt work so we move it to June 2nd. No one wants to miss camp. irrated I say screw everyone. Im getting married in october. Fall my fav season. I want to be married in my fav place Chicago. Someone comfortable to marry us no problem. Anyone coming? No! Too busy, working, going somewhere else. Then when i am breaking down what kind of support do i get. Oh you are just grumpy because you are not getting your way. I have 3 ways and no one is making anything work. I GIVE UP! I have other things to worry about too much going on so I give. Enough.
So whats going to happen? I am going to pay bills, get my hay done and take care of my daughter and my horses. Everything else I dont care. When am I getting married? No clue. Where? No where.
DAUGHTER, ME, BILLS, HORSES, HAY. 5 things on my list. No more. Im burning the cape.
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